I want the sun  
I want the clouds
I want the light 
sweet breeze blowing through 
a canyon of tawny hues on jagged cliffs
I want the dark  
dancing just for fun with the sexy ones 
in a Bywater dive bar at 3 am –

even the street is uncertain of its true path?

Contradiction
this is the realm I occupy 

flip the switch and I am shining bright  
fearless boundless  
an hour later I might want to 
drop to my knees and cry
one minute the silence enfolds me 
in a loving embrace
the next it terrifies me 
with its endless space –

where is the sweet spot?

The man inside our house is 
the contradiction to my contradiction 
rarely aligned 

when I feel my wings pulling me off my feet 
leaving the heavy earth behind
he falls into a deep pit opening up 
in the middle of the dining room table 

I follow
plummet 
no gentle set down
instead my ankles crack 
my bones splinter

why are the holes always so wide?

I long for open humanless spaces 
the countryside with towering trees 
and flowing streams
or almost barren plains 
like the surface of the moon
with endless sky extending to eternity 

he craves the streets 
pavement beneath his feet
people passing left and right
hearing the sirens as they screech –

where is the line where city and country meet?

He dreams of young women with guitars
punching the air with their swaying hips 
spunky lines and shifting eyes

I dream of the elusive ones  
those who are neither man nor woman 
but embody the best qualities of each –

where do We exist within these fantasies?

Yes, our little world still exists
as I run my hand over the surface 
I feel the thinning walls
as I step 
I hear the creak of the rotting boards

in my dream there is no cause for despair
only the call of that old house 
which I look for everyday
asking to be saved
loved again 
made whole –

when do the stars finally align?

I want the light 
I want the dark
I want the sun  
I want the clouds

I want to exist in solid form 
I want to float away 
into the pulsating waves of a perfect note

mostly
I want to see the the light of knowing 
in those sparkling eyes 
I want to hear the dark mystery revealed 
in a single syllable uttered 

without constraint